beaches, boulders, and birthdays
oct '23
Hello and good afternoon! Currently writing to you from Santa Barbara! I felt the need to break away from the monotony of working in my own bedroom for the past month, so I decided to accompany Anya on a two-day work trip with all expenses paid - courtesy of her company. I really thought I’d get the chance to roam the streets with my camera while she gets work done but here I am, at a boujee coffee shop on State St, surrounded by “fair” people and their cute dogs/babies. I guess it goes to show that work doesn’t end that easily and shit still needs to get done. I still need to respond to slack messages, forward emails and request assets, even though I put “OOO” on my calendar. But I’m grateful. So damn grateful.
I’m so grateful to be able to pull away from my constant routine and wake up to a view of the Santa Ynez Mountains on a random weekend in October. Grateful to be able to take my work with me on a foldable piece of technology and clear my mind on a beach. Life won’t always be like this so I’m taking the next 48 hours to recount my blessings and not misplace any gratitude.
Let’s get into it.
i’m feeling lucky
Last month’s playlist was one of the most upvoted and commended playlists I’ve ever made. I might be reaching here… but this month is pretty damn close. This month’s loot is split almost evenly between instrumental tracks and songs with vocals. A beautiful mix of funk, jazz, 80s rhythms and international grooves.
Here’s a little easter egg to get you started: Start with track 15 (Clouds by Resavoir) and hear the transition into track 16 (Follow by Tom Misch). Happy listening!
[Archive playlist can be found here, and in my spotify bio]
what’s your motive?
The other day, I was eating lunch with my family and we saw this little grasshopper creeping up on a branch just outside the window. We watched for a bit as it made it’s way higher and higher, struggling to hold on as the wind pushed and pulled. He just kept going, steady as a metronome, swaying back and forth as the branch swayed with each gust. I couldn’t help but wonder what his goal was… where was he even going? I prompted the question to my family and got these responses:
“he doesn’t know where he’s going, he’s just going up”
“he’s so little, what does he know?”
“i’m not sure, but neither is he. he’ll figure it out”
Such innocent yet profound answers if you think about it. We’re all just observing this little creature climb his way to the sky and wonder what its motive is. And then I thought about a certain something I do 2/3 times a week and immediately felt a deeper connection with the grasshopper…
If you’ve spoken to me in the past year, you’ve probably gotten my business-frat-dude-elevator-pitch about climbing and it’s positive impact on my life. I’ve always disliked lifting weights - so finding a sport like bouldering was so liberating and fit right into my desire to stay fit without stepping foot in a “gym”. And climbing 2/3 times a week allows me to see friends and catch up on a regular basis, introducing a nice balance between fitness and recreation. We chat and joke while encouraging each other and occasionally spraying beta. Adding other people to the equation also allows me to enforce a routine each week - I feel a subliminal accountability that keeps me consistent. It’s been such a refreshing change of pace for my movements and social activity but still to think about the fact that I (and millions of others) just climb walls every now and then. Reminds me of this tweet that my friend sent me:
Much like our dear friend grasshopper, I too have a motive that keeps me on those walls and pushes me further. Who knows what the grasshopper’s motive is, but it keeps on keeping on and inches up the branch at its own pace. A year since I got my Bouldering Project membership, I’m now at a point where I can gamify and incentivize my progress within the sport. I weave between circuit difficulties (according to ABP’s scale) and challenge myself to reach the next best thing with each climb. Could be my desire to reach some form of perfection or my competitive mindset, who knows. It just brings me a lot of comfort and joy to see progress on a macro level. On a micro level, I don’t worry about it though. I look more like the grasshopper - climbing to climb. I don’t really know what will come out of it or what climbing will do for me in the long run. I just feel good endorphins, positive movement and wholesome comradery. My motive to climb is sometimes obscure and changes from day-to-day, but it feels good and I don’t feel it needs much more justification.
I think it’s best not to question the grasshopper. I decided not to worry about what his motive might be and just let him cook (for a lack of better words). Seemingly, everyone is on a path towards betterment and growth, it just might not look like it to us. I climb walls with little nubs and and rip skin on my hands for pleasure? Seems weird but it feels good, I promise. I guess the grasshopper reminded me to keep doing what I think feels right, even if the world questions it.
through my eyes
I started the “through my eyes” segment to uphold a consistent cadence of making and sharing photographs but unfortunately, last month was an absymal failure on that front. I took very few photographs, if any for myself and particularly, none from the streets. So this photo comes from a paid corporate photoshoot I had in Phoenix - somewhat Godfather-esque.
cuties
A couple weeks ago, I bought a bag of cuties from the grocery store and they were so damn delicious. Each and every one of them was perfect, blending the right amount of sweet, sour, juice and crisp. Sometimes I’d grab a few on my way out the door to unravel and enjoy on a 30 minute drive and other times I’d devour a handful while having a facetime conversation at 2am. Soon enough, I had depleted my supply and to my dismay, it had only been a few days since I bought them. My grocery runs only come around every couple weeks so I didn’t get the chance to replenish for a while. I didn’t think much of the whole experience until I went to my parents house over the weekend and they had a fresh bag on the kitchen island! I grabbed three of them and popped in a few wedges only to realize they weren’t good. Not that they were expired or rotten, but they weren’t as good as mine. Just not the same perfect ratio of sweet to sour and juice to crisp. Something was off and I couldn’t tell what it was. I opened another one, just to give it a try but once again tasted disappointment. I felt like so guilty putting the last one back, knowing it wouldn’t be as good as the others.
I stayed the night at my parents place and the next morning, I felt an overwhelming sense of redemption as the cuties stared back at me from their flimsy orange cage. I peeled one out, took a bite, and immediately lost all faith in the whole batch. Simply not enough juice - lackluster, if you will.
Over the next few days, I fondly remembered the orange high from my original bunch, but still couldn’t get over the icky ones. Funnily enough, Anya had a bag at her place too - unopened. Like a kid in a candy store, I had some romantic hope that this batch would be just like my perfect batch, and I dove right in. The first one was okay, the second one was good but the third one was just terrible. I wondered: what is it about these new batches? Did I just get lucky with mine? Were they not even as good as I remembered them to be?
If you can’t tell already, I’ve been thinking a lot about these silly little oranges. I’ve been thinking a lot about how they made me feel - not just the good ones, the mediocre and bad ones too. As trivial as it may seem, I have a tough time digesting the fact that not every bag is going to be the same. And even within each bag, there are good apples and bad ones (pun very much intended). But I can’t really choose or predict what I’ll get when I’m standing face-to-face with dozens of orange nets at the grocery store. It’s just a wild luck of the draw and hope for the best. Maybe my parents bought a perfect bag last month and got the short end of the stick this time. Maybe Anya hasn’t bought a perfect bag in months! Maybe there are people out there still waiting to taste a perfect orange the way I have. Or maybe their perfect is a little different.
Moral of my story: Oranges come and go. Sometimes sweet, sometimes sour, some are juicy, others crisp. It’s just a matter of time and cycle before we get what we want.
link drop
how to steal your way to original design
an incredibly fun website to waste hours on (miniclip but for intellectuals)
notes about macronutrients of happiness
is it bacon or beercan?
what can we expect for this winter?
I closed out September with a wave of anxiety and laziness, so I’m hoping that October’s work-hard-play-hard energy can cure that. October is also one of my favorite months - between the changing of the seasons, falling of the leaves, and my bird day, the month really has all the works and feels like a homecoming of sorts.
Putting this here for accountability: I’m working on some big big things and I’m hoping to share them by the end of the year. No rush, no pressure, just purely sending manifestation boomerangs out into the world so they come back soon.
As always, please reach out to me with any thoughts, opinions, or questions. Keep climbing, and don’t forget to listen to i’m feeling lucky.