Back to time, back to life,
a grind that never stops.
The constant hustle to stay alive,
much like a spinning top.
But forget not the gust you carry,
from chapter twenty-two to twenty-three,
for this one reads like none before,
why you’ll soon come too see.
This is a poem I wrote on the first of January 2023, with hopes of being able to send my newsletter out on that night. I sat in front of my laptop for hours and stared at a blank screen, unable to conjure the courage to compile something coherent yet creative. And I felt this overwhelming sense of disapproval from the insides of my soul, the same feeling that usually kicks in when I’m unable to promptly release a newsletter. My daily to-do lists consistenly featured a “finish january letter” for weeks and I just couldn’t scratch it off. Until now, when perseverence drove over that disapproval with a fat middle-finger hanging out the window. 3 weeks later, and I’ve conjured the courage to compile something coherent yet creative.
i’m feeling lucky
New year, new sounds. This month’s playlist features music from 40 artists that I’ve never heard of. Completely fresh - the perfect way to groove into a new calendar. I’m sharing this a few weeks late, but I’ve heard many of you already say you’ve enjoyed these tunes… and that is music to my ears.
[Archive playlist can be found here, and in my spotify bio]
increasing resolution
I’ve always found it trivial to make new years’ resolutions. But inevitably, I do! In the past I’ve set out to “get a job” or “get x number of followers” or “write in my journal everyday” or “meditate every morning” but much to my despair, things don’t always go as planned. And then the blame falls back on me, to say that I wasn’t disciplined enough or didn't enforce a strict regimen or apply myself to achieve a goal. While this could’ve been true for many of my past resolutions, it doesn’t always paint an accurate picture. Sometimes, shit happens, and you can’t quite justify why a resolution failed. Maybe a few months go by and you realize that your resolution was actually a load of crap and never needed to be set in the first place. You see, historically, new year’s resolutions were made as way to resolve mistakes of the past and do better in the future. Makes sense, no? Obviously we all have the urge to right our wrongs and make it happen in a new year. But I feel that the concept of resolutions is way too high-level. We try to look back at 365 days of challenges, mistakes, shortcomings and try to solve them with silly little one-liners in a journal bought on Amazon? C’mon. And then on top of that, we force ourselves to stick to that silly little one-liner for the next 365 days, not knowing what’s coming our way or what kind of new potholes we’re come across…? Makes no sense to me.
So this year, instead of taking a step back, analyzing my past year and writing any evocative resolutions, I am deciding to take a step forward - a little bit closer to the puzzle I mindlessly assemble. I’ll try to focus on life week-by-week and month-by-month. Maybe even day-by-day… whatever it takes to keep the focus real tight and tidy. I don’t want to set some grandiose plans and then get lost in the mundanity of that journey. I want to be able to live every day as it comes, plan every week with a clear vision and feel all my emotions in real-time. I don’t want to cater my objectives to a larger roadmap. Instead, I want to capitalize on my own impulses to see where this year takes me. I know, it sounds a bit cliche and against the grain but I think it truly helps me to zoom into what matters and keep a tighter lock on the life I lead. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll keep y’all updated.
through my eyes
I took plenty of photos in December but I didn’t get around to culling/editing them that quickly. In part, because I wanted to take my time with them and in part because I was lazy. But sometimes laziness helps with photography. It allows the photos to develop personalities of their own and write stories behind my back. So here’s a photo with many stories written into it, up for your own interpretation as well. I really adore it and knew I would from the second I made the shot.
all about the people
Like I already said, I don’t really have any resolutions for this year. At least not any grand schemes or large deadlines to meet before 2024. Rather, I have a small task to work on and I urge you all to do the same…
I recently watched Stutz, a documentary on Netflix about Jonah Hill’s therapist. In this documentary, Jonah reverses the roles of interviewee-interviewer and tries to get a deeper understanding of who his therapist really is and what makes him a therapist. Phil Stutz breaks down many of his tools and ideas that characterize his form of work, many of which I found incredibly insightful. One in particular, was an idea called “Life Force”, in which he draws a simple pyramid and labels the layers as such:
While I really don’t feel like regurgitating the documentary’s teachings or proverbial nature, I just want to use the graphic as-is and talk about my interpretation of it. If I saw this on Pinterest or Instagram or something I’d probably think it’s some bullshit diagram from Better Health magazine or something but for some reason, the way Stutz explained this concept really stuck with me. He explains that this pyramid is for personal direction and identifying what makes us more alive. From what I see, the body is on the bottom because it’s our first layer of being. It’s who we literally are. Our body is the first thing we feel every morning, it’s what we respond to and it’s what we strive to keep running for the rest of our lives. If you have a good grasp on your own body, your physical being, then you are able to look outwards. Outwards, meaning the middle part of the pyramid - the people. The people in your life - family, friends, coaches, teachers, neighbors, partners, etc. - are the folks that provide you a 2nd layer of being. These people become co-authors of your life book in different ways. Something a teacher said in 3rd grade might have stuck with you and manifested as a tattoo in your late 30s and similarly, a small habit of putting wine glasses on the top shelf might have come straight from observing your grandmother’s simple routines. In a way, you use these people to gain a better understanding of the world and how to function within it. But more importantly, the experiences and teachings you gather from these folks also give you a holistic understanding of yourself - bringing us to the tip of the pyramid. Each person shows you a new part of yourself and allows you to become self-aware of your own tendencies. Your partner might highlight the quieter side in you because they are loud and rambunctious. Your dad might be the only person to shamelessly point out your notorious bad breath before a nice dinner. It’s almost as if each person in your life carries a custom mirror that shows you who you really are.
Why is this important and what am I trying to get at?
The people around you are there for a reason. We are all born or brought into a family of sorts, and we then begin this journey of collecting side characters. We acquire mentors, find friends, choose partners and more. We also shed friends, lose touch with coaches, discard partners and grow distant with family. It’s all a natural part of life but are we really aware of this ebb and flow. Are we cognizant of the people we put in our pyramid? Because we absolutely should be. To be someone’s ally is a gift. And for someone to be our ally is a gift. We are granted exclusive access to others’ lives - and vice versa - and that access provides the ability to influence, opinionate, share experiences, discuss complex threads and so much more. Why take that lightly? I think it’s important to consistenly vet and re-vet the folks that surround you. If you find that you are not in good company, do something about it as soon as you can. Because the longer that someone else is allowed to sleep in that 2nd tier of your pyramid, the longer they influence your life in ways that you might not want to. Shed their presence from your Life Force and reevaluate where they stand in your circles. It doesn’t matter whether they’re a partner, life-long best friend, or aunt. If you audit your pyramid and find that there are dead bugs in that 2nd tier, make sure to purge.
On the other hand, there might be folks who are invaluable to you. Some people are just too special and they provide you with more life than you can imagine. Celebrate these people. Tell them you appreciate them and show that they are loved. Their spot in your pyramid’s 2nd tier is cemented and they deserve to be awarded for that. You can award them with flowers, chocolates, a solid intellectual conversation, or even repay the favor and cement your spot in their pyramid. Either ways, these people clearly matter and we should do our best to keep them around.
Long story short, I think the Life Force Pyramid gave me a weirly deep appreciation for the people in my life and the importance they play on the person I am. These people influence everything that goes into these newsletters and without them, my brain probably wouldn’t work as smooth as it does. I urge you all to reevaluate the ‘people’ tier of your Life Force Pyramid and audit/purge as necessary.
link dump
38% of you open these links… not good enough. if you’re reading this, open a damn link this time.
it’s possible to live in manhattan on a 20k yearly salary
I haven’t read this article but it seems interesting
the hit italian-english song that doesn’t have a single comprehensible word in it
do u ever just build a log cabin from scratch and document all of it too
if you think you can get away with 4 hours of sleep each night, read this
this guy took a photo a day for 15 years
Fashionably late on this letter but it’s okay. Shit happens, it’s alright. Nonetheless, I’m looking forward to finding a proper routine in February, along with embracing any little pockets of free time. What I’ll do with that time? Who knows. All I know is that I’ll be grooving along with the monthly playlist, regardless.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read and be sure to drop me a line if anything sparks a thought in that wonderful mind of yours.