don't be another spiderman
a guide to not being boring
Settling for an average human experience is what will rot the world. Resistance to experiences beyond the mundane - foreign travel, exotic foods, meeting new people - is foolish, and prevents humanity from pushing the bounds of innovation and creativity.
I believe that this world holds a myriad of experiences that can shape unique personal identities, but we must actively pursue this journey as a part of our fundamental truth.
Ofcourse, financial and time restraints may set gutter rails but without a personal rolodex of distinctive experiences, we’re all just identical Spidermen pointing at each other.
The following narrative explores different concepts in favor of a uniquely individual human experience - the proposed antithesis of average.
ouibatori
The Japanese concept of Ouibatori reminds us that people, like flowers, bloom in their own time and take their own paths. This philosophy encourages us to focus on our own growth and uniqueness rather than comparing ourselves to others. On whatever timeline it may be, this individual journey of blooming allows us to develop beyond the projected potential and contribute something uniquely valuable to the world.
I like thinking of other’s stories as equally or more unique and valuable to mine, understanding that they’re on a completely different journey of growth with new flowers to offer. Reframing our comparison culture in the ligh of Ouibatori allows for a larger sponge of absorption, with the potential for others’ stories/ experiences becoming one with ours.
amoebic beings
Imagine yourself as a ameobic entity, floating through life’s plasma and absorbing bits and pieces along your journey. Your initial form and structure may be derived from parental offerings or childhood experiences, and as you age, these intersections come from your own will to explore further into life’s plasma. This concept may make more sense if you have read the Human Hard Drive - but instead of a hard drive, you’re now an amoebic sponge with an ever-evolving cytoplasm.
Bits of our personal narratives are scattered across the universe, in form of Substack newsletters, Instagram carousels, late-night discussions, TED Talks and more. Over time, we encounter different narratives and soak up all this knowledge piecemeal, further enhancing our own identity. These intersections create a molecular dance that influences and inspires new ideas and connections, leading to a rich fusion of experience. We see these intersections in the Western adoption of Yoga, Muslim-Catholic weddings, Afrobeats, K-Pop, Tex-Mex cuisine, Japanese inspired animation in Hollywood, globalization of Soccer, and much more.
It’s our individual perogative to explore the world and find as many intersections as possible, in order to enhance the human experience beyond the average.
scrabble
A lot of people hate playing scrabble with me; yeah I’m that good. And although I’ve played this game for decades, the element of chance in picking different letters and finding new intersections of high-scoring words is what keeps me interested. What’s unique about Scrabble is that we all pick from a shared bag of letters, but we select unique letters without seeing, and then we devise unique words per our brain’s methodology. There are multiple unknown variables: the types of letters in the bag, the words already placed on the board, and even the multiplier spaces still available.
Much like Scrabble, life is a game of chance and strategy. Each letter we draw represents a new experience, opportunity, or challenge. While the randomness of the draw might seem daunting, the real game begins when we arrange our hand-picked letters on the board. It’s about finding the intersections, creating high-scoring words, and making the most of what we have.
steve jobs
Steve Jobs gave a speech to the Academy of Achievement in 1982 and most eloquently captured the essence of this uniquely individual human experience:
“and, I guess, one of the things that motivates a lot of people that i’ve seen, that actually get out and do something in any different field, is that we all sort of eat food that other people cook, and wear clothing that other people make, and speak a language that other people evolved, and use someone else’s mathematics, and we’re sorta taking from this giant pool constantly. and the most ecstatic thing in the whole world is to actually put something back into that pool.”
All of us have the opportunity - and perhaps the obligation - to not only absorb insight and experiences from this pool, but also to contribute ideas and creations back into it. By doing so, we not only enhance our own lives but also add substance to human culture and knowledge.
In his speech, Steve Jobs also suggests that we travel to Paris, become a poet for a few years, do LSD, and even get lunch with a Zen Buddhist. And just keep in mind that this comes from a guy who dropped out of college, worked on an Apple farm, traveled to India, worked the night shift at Atari, and experienced a lot more shit - all before founding Apple.
There are differing nuances across these concepts but they all converge on a fundamental truth: average is not good enough. Our uniqueness is something to be actively pursued across diverse experiences. We are each individually capable of adding richness to the holistic human experience - why shy away from that ability?
quote unquote
“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s”
- Joseph Campbell
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
- Soren Kierkegaard
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.” - Heraclitus
“To be successful you must be unique, you must be so different that if people want what you have, they must come to you to get it.” - Walt Disney
This letter comes from a few places:
the benches outside Hopdoddy, when my friends and I discussed other friends that seem to be comfortable with the bare minimum of the human experience
my fear of being average and not actually contributing to the fabric of the universe in some way. I even have a tattoo to channel that fear as inspiration
a desire to flex my Scrabble skills
I hope this sparked some thought nonetheless, I’m just doing my best to put something back into the pool. Take care, stay cool, and see you in two weeks.
Biggest fear: https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fsxfnoyttq4c91.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dd4bf4a3aff5df400760079ccc2b792b1ea59100f
I relate to this; it's certainly how I lived out my 20s and 30s. But then starting around the big midlife retrospective at 40, I started to ask myself: Why was I scared of average? Was it a fear of how I was perceived? A feeling that I needed to prove myself? Was I comparing myself to others? A fear that I wouldn't take full advantage of this life before I died?
Over the past few years, I've gotten more out of doing less. With slowness, comes depth: More serendipitous conversations with neighbors as I walk the dog, or at the local pool each morning.
I naturally wake up with more energy than most people, and they still think I'm a busybody. But I know I've changed. I don't regret soaking up the world like a sponge in my 20s and 30s, but I do find more pleasure in prioritizing depth over novelty in my 40s. Maybe that's a natural progression. I'll be curious to see how it unfolds for you.