obsolescence, olympians, and onlyfans

august '24

So… I turned on ‘paid subscriptions’. But it really doesn’t change anything.

Loaf of Thought is and will always be free. I promise that you’ll never have to pay for my nonsensical words; it’s already an honor to be in your inbox. I turned on paid subscriptions as an option to anyone who values my work enough to pay for my groceries (or at least a part of it - thanks, inflation).

Sometimes I find it hard to value myself and my work in the age of Big Algo, but as much as I don’t want to paywall any of my creative work, a little fishy once said that a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.

So I turned on paid subscriptions. It’s no big deal. Nothing revolutionary - you can just pay me for this nonsense now. Like the writers’ equivalent of starting an Onlyfans.

Seriously, it’s nothing. Just keep reading.

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i’m feeling lucky

This month is all about texture and tempo. We have some very interesting textures, from Olive Rain’s buttery smooth vocals to the electric tones from the Unessential Oils. The tempo is a bit slower this month, as our energies fade at the end of summer and our skin is a bit darker than it was in July. Nonetheless, these 40 tracks are sure to keep you company on long drives, park days, and bright Saturday mornings.

[Archive playlist can be found here, and in my spotify bio]

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olympians

Don’t tell my boss, but I’ve been secretly tuning into the Olympics while I do my work. Peacock’s live coverage is amazing and I’m taking advantage of their endless buffet of split-screen goodness. I’m so fascinated by the sheer diversity of human excellence on display, from masterful archers to the synchronized swimmers. (why is that an Olympic event though… c’mon)

I was stunned to see 58-year-old Zhiying Zeng whip insane shots in table tennis - she’s got three decades on me, but you couldn’t tell by the speed of her reflexes. Then there’s Kim Ye-ji, the Korean sharpshooter that took the world by storm with her badass aura and that infamous look at the camera. And there are the countries that show up out-of-the-blue and offer up the world’s greatest trap shooter: Guatemala’s Adriana Ruano Oliva winning the country’s first ever gold medal. I’m always surprised by the young gymnasts too; they’ve barely experienced a life outside the chalk-dusted air of training facilities. Some of them don’t know what it means to pay taxes or buy groceries, but they know what it means to compete - against the world, against their teammates, and against themselves.

It occurs to me that this Olympic trifecta of competition isn't so different from our own growth patterns. We're all competing in three simultaneous arenas:

1. one with yourself: This is the deep, personal struggle against the voices in your head. The internal battle between the you of today, yesterday, and tomorrow.

2. one with your team: This is the friendly, familial push and pull that you share with your community - big and small. It's the competition that makes you better because those around you are getting better.

3. one with the world: This is the big league, where your personal best meets the global standard - digitally, socially, and performatively.

Rather than framing this as a medium for comparison and theft of joy or alike, I’d like to view it as an opportunity for healthy accountability. It's not about measuring your chapter one against someone else's chapter twenty; it's about using each others’ roadmaps as a beacons, illuminating what's possible. In some ways, it’s about defining success for yourself and effectively, for the people around you. The rising tide really does lift all boats, and I'm learning to ride that wave with gratitude rather than resentment.

“If I skip practice for one day, I notice. If I skip practice for two days, my wife notices. If I skip practice for three days, the world notices.” - Vladimir Horowitz

I understand that these rings of accountability might not be as concrete for me, as they are for Olympians. At some level, the beauty of this simultaneous competition is its scalability - I can modify the search radii, setting new goals as I level-up. In photography, my search radius might extend across the globe, giving/taking inspiration from artists in Ukraine and Nepal. But when I climb, my search radius is tight - my circle of friends provide all the accountability I need. I am always in control of that parameter as it functions like a personalized meter of progress.

These Olympians aren’t gods - they’re humans. I’m sure they also hit snooze, skip workouts, put off projects, and slack off from time-to-time. That doesn't diminish their achievements - if anything, it makes them more impressive. And provides a bit of comfort, knowing that we’re fighting similar competitions, just at different scales.

On a slightly unrelated note - why do these Olympians scream so much??

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through my eyes

I’d like to think that photography, especially street/documentary, is about the art of noticing things out of the ordinary. Or sometimes capturing the ordinary in extraordinary ways. As Anya and I made our rounds at Costco last week, she saw this lonely box of Gogurt, misplaced from its home in the freezer section, and called out, “Someone’s mom told them they’re not allowed to have the Gogurt this time.” I just love the imagery that she quickly imagined, such a raw and common moment - we’ve all been there. So this month’s photo isn’t some perfect street frame, but a rather silly moment from Costco.

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planned obsolescence

There's this idea of planned obsolescence, where products are deliberately designed to have a limited lifespan or quickly become outdated. A prime example of this dates back to the 1920s, when a shady group of light-bulb manufacturers realized that their lightbulbs would last for literal lifetimes, resulting in profit-loss over the years. So they had the brilliant idea to make their bulbs worse on purpose, like some twisted capitalist underscore in order to ensure profitability for centuries.

This concept has only intensified in our modern, capitalist-driven world. Apple has battled countless lawsuits that claim their devices begin to rot when new updates are released, and I believe it, because iOS 17 does not work well on my iPhone 11. Even outside of tech, we see the cyclical nature of products in fast fashion, disposable razors, and trendy home decor, as if they’re one-night-stands of consumerism. Temu, Amazon, and fast-fashion companies fuel the idea that consumer goods were never built to last, but rather purchased, used, and thrown.

Of course, there are quality products that supposedly last forever, like Levi Jeans, Nokia phones, and YETI Coolers, which are rapidly accruing value for their durability and lack of obsolescence. A quick visit to Van Neistat’s Youtube channel would yield a list of objects/machines/things that he swears by, no matter the pricetag attached or the dedication needed to upkeep. For some of his things, like the 1980s Land Cruiser or the handmade camera bag, true value often comes with a hefty price tag, but it's a price that pays dividends over time. For other things, like his obsession for specific sheet metal screws and extra-sticky Post Its, the price tag discrepancy matters less than the specificity of a quality product, built and bought to last.

If you really know me - and I mean the penny-pinching-cheap-fuck version of me - then you’d easily call me a hypocrite. And I’d agree with you. But I’m not asking you to drop a month’s rent on overpriced vacuums. I’ve bought things for cheap on Amazon, because I couldn’t afford to buy the top-shelf version of it - I understand that mentality. The $35 headphones I bought in 2018 are still in pristine condition, and gladly accompany me on every flight. I just bought a pickleball net for $50 and I’m sure it’ll serve the same purpose as the $250 ones available online. Am I dubious of cheaply priced products and their correlation to quality? Yes; but that doesn’t mean they won’t get the job done.

Part of the inspiration in writing this comes from the Temu trap I fell into last week. (Go ahead, laugh it up - I know you’ve dabbled too) Ofcourse I clicked on the enticing ad and ofcourse I got the app and ofcourse I played their silly little games, only to awaken from this consumerist nightmare that would result in a few cheap trinkets on my coffee table and $40 down the drain.

I’m no stranger to this shit, but I’m also learning that it’s okay to spend on things that matter. I appreciate the craftsmanship and detail that goes into a well-made product that adds value to my daily life. There’s an element of joy, in owning things built to last. And an element of comfort, in purchasing things that don’t empty wallets. The most valuable things in life aren't the ones that come with same-day shipping – they're the ones that stick around long enough to tell a story.

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link dump

in case you really need a friend

the story behind a perfectly legal boxing match

a star is about to explode, and you’ll be able to see it

an acting lesson from Tom Hanks

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July was quick, but I felt my emotions deeply throughout past few weeks. I felt a lot of pessimism and uncertainty in the air, sentiments that I’ll work to combat in the coming months. I’m looking forward to a steady cadence of pickleball matches, dinner parties, and meal-prep Sundays. Anya and I have also been redecorating small bits of our home, so you can understand the impetus behind those Temu deals. (/s)

My growing community of subscribers and Substack friends hold hands in a ring of accountability, one that keeps me inspired and dedicated to this newsletter. If there’s any way that I can add to your rings and elevate your competitions, I’d be glad to do so. I’m just trying my best to make this a creative act of planned permanence. Thanks for reading; don’t forget to subscribe to my Onlyfans.

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have a lovely August, folks.

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In case you missed my last post…

I don't know anything